In the first three months of 2024, Australians lost more than $5.8 million to dating and romance scams. That’s a lot of money going into the hands of criminals in just three months! But victims are not just at risk of losing money, they could also be manipulated into breaking the law and unwittingly become criminals themselves.
So, what do romance scams look like? Like every type of scam, there are different variations of them, but there are common traits and signs that link them.
Identifying a romance scammer
Online dating is commonplace in today’s digital world. It’s easy to connect with people from around the world, but that also means the risk of being a scam target is higher than ever before.
Scammers love the digital world because it’s easy to hide their true identity and location. Our high usage of social media also means that they have access to more information about us than many of us probably realise.
This information gives the scammer a ‘way in’ to start a conversation with you. Of course, this is also how legitimate love interests will likely strike up communication with you, so here are some red flags to look out for:
#1
A scammer will quickly want to get you away from a dating app or website and ask to message a different way. WhatsApp is commonly used because it’s encrypted, but they may also ask for your phone number or email address.
#2
Conversations become personal quickly. Scammers will work hard to get you to open up and make you feel understood and special. By doing this, they’re grooming you to trust them.
#3
A scammer will often encourage you not to speak about your relationship to your friends and family. They’ll have an excuse for why it’s a bad idea and will manipulate you into believing they’re legitimate.
#4
Video calls or meeting in-person never happen and there’s always an excuse. Common reasons include an ‘emergency’ or ‘technology problems’.
Identifying the scam
So, we’ve covered some common signs to look out for at the beginning of getting to know someone online, but how can you spot a scam? Again, there are many different scenarios, but here are two different examples of romance scams to keep in mind. Can you spot the red flags?
Scenario 1
Colin is divorced and lives in Kalgoorlie. After his divorce he joined an online social group and met someone from Adelaide – Debra is a few years younger than Colin and a widow. Colin talks to Debra daily and has regular video calls with her.
After six months of chatting, during a video call, Debra says she has a business idea, and asks Colin to contribute a small amount of money to cover the startup expenses. Colin thinks it sounds like a good business idea and is happy to contribute a couple of thousand dollars. They arrange a date for Colin to visit Debra in South Australia.
A few weeks before his trip, Debra calls Colin and tells him her elderly father who lives in California is in hospital and that she urgently needs to visit him. Colin doesn't hear from Debra for a couple of weeks, but then receives an email from her explaining that her Australian bank accounts have been frozen because she's in the USA. She's stranded and asks if Colin can loan her some money to cover accommodation and some of her father's medical fees, until her accounts are unlocked.
For the next few weeks, Colin sends multiple $500 gift cards to Debra every few days because she doesn’t have an American bank account. This goes on until Debra’s father goes home from hospital and Debra is due to fly back to Australia.
On her way to the airport Debra has a car accident and misses her flight. She goes to hospital and while she’s there, Colin receives an email from her saying she’s fine but needs to rebook her flight but can’t afford to. Colin sends money to a US account belonging to a travel agent who is helping Debra with her flight.
When he doesn’t hear from Debra or receive her flight details, Colin emails her. His email bounces back flagged as ‘undeliverable’, and when he tries calling her number has been disconnected. Colin checks social media and can’t find Debra’s profile.
Scenario 2
Linda met Pete on an online dating site 3.5 years ago. She’s a real estate agent in Perth, while Pete has several different business interests and lives and works between the USA, Europe and the Middle East. They’ve never physically met but Pete is set to move to Australia when his next work project wraps up.
When Linda and Pete first started their relationship, Linda’s daughter was suspicious. She warned Linda about romance scams, so Linda stopped talking to her family and friends about the relationship. She’s excited to prove them wrong when Pete moves to Perth. Linda is confident she can trust Pete because they’ve been together for so long and have plans for their future.
A few months ago, Linda opened some bank accounts with different banks so she and Pete could save money for their new house together. These accounts are solely in Linda’s name so she has given Pete her login details for the accounts, so he can access them via the banks’ mobile apps. Linda rarely uses her internet banking, but when she does, she uses her laptop.
Linda receives a call from Pete, and he tells her he has injured his knee playing squash with a colleague. He needs to have emergency surgery which will delay his move to Australia. Pete complains to Linda that while he’s recovering, he’ll have no income. Linda tells him that she can send him some money. Pete tells her how and where to send it.
When Linda logs on to one of her bank accounts, she sees that there are a lot of transactions for amounts between $100 and $800. These amounts come into the account and are immediately transferred elsewhere. Linda doesn’t recognise the accounts the money has come from or gone to. She speaks to Pete about the transactions, and he confirms he’s transferred the money into his cryptocurrency accounts. He says the return will be bigger than using a regular savings account.
When Linda tries to make a payment from her account to Pete, she finds the transaction is blocked by the bank. When she calls her bank, she is put through to the Fraud team who explain that she has been used as a money mule and that the money moving in and out of her accounts is likely from illegal activity.
Protect yourself
As we’ve shown, scammers have multiple different strategies to manipulate you. Sadly, romance scams are not only bad for your bank balance, they’ll likely leave you broken hearted too.
To help protect yourself, always:
- Check someone is who they say they are before entering a relationship. Search for their name and photographs on the web, ask a lot of questions and if you’re unsure about something they say or you feel something doesn’t add up, do further digging.
- Tell someone about the person you’re chatting with. Whether it’s a family member, friend or colleague – be open and honest. Outsiders can often see the red flags you miss.
- Be careful what you share online, and never send intimate photos or videos to anyone you haven’t physically met. Some scammers will use these to extort money from you later.
- End any communication with someone who asks you to send them money, invest in business opportunities or cryptocurrency. Never agree to transfer money on behalf of someone else, and don’t give your card, bank or internet banking details to anyone, under any circumstances.
For even more tips on identifying scams, visit the Scamwatch website and the Australian Cyber Security Centre website.
If you think you’ve fallen victim to a scam or have found a transaction on your account that you believe is fraudulent, you should notify us immediately by calling 13 25 77.